I just got an invitation to a bachelorette party and I am taking some issue with the following:
1. Bachelorette parties. I have a bias. I think bachelor parties are okay. They look like fun, not humiliating to anyone in particular, and like somewhat “normal” dude activities. That is not saying, however, that I would be in support of any man that was going to marry me having one, but, hey, I’m all about the double standard. Seriously, though, dudes in a bar/strip club on a Saturday? Not a shocking surprise.
Tell me, ladies, when is the last time you hit the town with your girlfriends wearing a veil? Do you often make t-shirts with candy stuck to it and ask strangers to pay you to eat one of them off your boob? How many times do you hang out while sipping a cocktail out of a plastic penis?
Bachelorette parties seem forced to me, like the girls are trying really hard to prove that they are crazy and having lots of fun. Plus, I see them out and about and I get embarrassed. For the bride-to-be, for me, for my gender. I’m anti.
2. The invite reads, “Please bring a pair of pantys for the bride. It’s for a game, no need to wrap!”
A) The spelling error. The invitation is typed up and printed, people. Come on.
B) The word “panties.” Gross. Worst word in English. Bar none.
3. It goes on, “The bride is a small/34 C for those interested in bringing a lingere gift.”
A) Here we go again! Doesn’t spell check come installed these days?
B) Small? 34 C? Excuse me while I go binge on Dexatrim.
C) I’m not, nor will I ever be, interested in bringing a lingerie gift. To anyone, barely even myself. It’s like saying, “Here, I’m giving you this so that you go get freaky. I’ve put thought into your getting freaky, perhaps even imagined a scenario in which you wear this little number while getting it on.” I don’t want my friends thinking of me this way, nor do I want them thinking of me thinking of them this way. Not cool.
But even with all my negativities and objections, I will go to said party, the third pre-wedding event for this friend, because I love my friend and she is so over-the-moon happy these days. No one can take issue with that.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
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2 comments:
34C is small? Good God. I remember when I was a C. I risked a small only if I wanted to look like a stripper. The sizes, they have a-changed.
I once went to a bachelorette party where we carried around a giant inflatable penis wearing a cape. Happily, I didn't live in that town.
Just found your blog through another blogroll, and with this post right here, you are my hero. I thought I was just being a stick in the mud. Nice to know there are other adults out there! Hope you had fun anyway.
Liz
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